Why you need to stop judging your feelings

When you feel sad, angry, jealous, happy, excited - do you judge it? What are the stories, thoughts, feelings that you tell yourself around certain feelings?

Here are some things I hear not only with clients, but also in my own personal life.

• “Is something wrong with me? I feel ...”

• “I feel so stupid/crazy for ….”

• “I know I shouldn’t be upset, but …”

• “Why can’t I get over it.?”

• “I’m sorry. I’m just so stressed.”

A stinging and bleeding cut draws our attention. It tells us, “I need attention, I need help.” Our feelings serve the the exact same function; our feelings, our pain provides us with information about deep seated wounds and traumas. However, for some, our feelings were not welcome; we were not taught to respond to our feelings with curiosity and compassion. Instead we were taught to “suck it up,” “push through,” and to be strong. We were taught and shown that feelings are BAD. Perhaps anger looked like screaming and shouting, maybe even violence. Perhaps sadness was perceived as weakness.

How you feel about your feelings MATTERS. In fact, it is so often the stories, perception, and judgment around feelings that prevent us from speaking about it. But, what if anger was just a cut that needed attention, sadness a bruise that needed sensitivity and care. Rather than judging yourself for feeling, practice being curious and treating yourself with gentle compassion and kindness. Ask yourself why you may be feeling the way that you are, what is it directing you to/showing you? And how can you tend to this part of you?

All our feelings are important, they are our compass in our inner worlds. We were meant to feel. Our hearts and souls are meant to move.